Queer in Healthcare

In late July 2022, I was in the middle of an EEOC lawsuit and an NLRB lawsuit, representing myself. I couldn’t get a job to quite literally save my life, so had hired myself as a partner of my former supervisor’s nonprofit- unpaid. I had negative $155 in the bank and worked about 15 hours a day. When I wasn’t working, I was fixing my moped that had been sold brand new to me and with a faulty carburetor. The moped place didn’t care about my financial situation, so I learned how to disassemble, rebuild, modify, and fix Chinese scooters. Fast. If you know anything about them, you know that once you touch one moving part, it’s over. You’re now building a whole new bike. I didn’t have the money.

My broken moped and my newly acquired honorary employment law degree were hot topics at the office, where we develop great relationships with clients. On the 20th, we had a brand new one. Her name is Elle and she was lucky enough to hear about both of these things and some other disasters happening in my life. She took my number, as most clients do, before leaving the office, however, she and her wife texted me that evening and asked if I could make myself available for lunch on July 28th. Weird. I didn’t know these people AT ALL. ‘They can’t possibly make things worse,’ I thought, agreeing to free lunch.

Here’s a picture of me that day, after lunch with Elle and her wife Tracy. The moped in front of us had just been driven into that parking spot by me; from the lot at which these *strangers* bought it for me. I was at the tail end of the most traumatic stretch of my life and I couldn’t even believe this was real life. Elle and Tracy were my lighthouse. They pulled my out of the storm of a lifetime. They shone a bright enough beam of light for me to finally make it back to safety.

With this piece, I would like to help you see how, using only kindness, you, like Elle and Tracy, can become analogous to one of the original wonders of the world, and lead countless people back to safety, sometimes without even knowing it.

In taking initiative to become this type of person, I feel it is most important to make a constant practice of remembering that we have no idea what challenges, struggles, or battles others are facing at any given time. Even our closest friends and family may be shackled by inner turmoil that we know nothing about. I know this is *my* first time navigating through this life, so I assume the same for others- and let’s face it: Life is hard! If we are sprinkling kindness everywhere we go, the people around us will always have a hand held out when they stumble and fall. They’ll always be handed a pen before they’ve been digging through their bag for five minutes. Or they’ll always have someone smile at them as they pass by, just as they were convinced they had become invisible to the world. I’m not asking you to have a negative outlook, but I am telling you that everyone is struggling with something you know nothing about. Who knows: you may hold the cure for their malady, be it a kind word, a listening ear, or grabbing something out of reach for them.

After you’ve taken the plunge into living a life of kindness, there’s something else of great importance I feel we should keep at the forefront of our minds. Kindness is free. Yes, there are acts of kindness, that can blow someone’s mind, with the amount of money they just spent on us, but there are acts just as phenomenal that cost nothing. For example, in 2017, a group of teenage girls were in a casino bathroom in Canada, dressed for a night out and snapping photos, when an elderly woman approached them and offered to take the pictures for them. She began telling them stories of going out in her day and how much she missed it. Heart-warmed, the group of teenagers were quick to include the woman in their photos and invite her out with them. She returned to her husband at the casino, but she did so with a renewed sense of vibrance and restored youth.

Lastly, and I don’t advise doing anything with selfish motives, as it will lead to a whole lot of resentments and unhappiness, however, by giving kindness away, you actually gain joy. The potential for growth in this sense is boundless. The happier you make others, the happier you’ll become. It’s one of the few things that you give away in order to gain more of.

In closing, I’d like you to take a moment and think back to a time when someone was that hand held out after a tumble or that compliment on a day you were feeling unpleasant with yourself. Remember that lighthouse that gently guided you to safety. Now safe, filled with the light you received, you’re able to stand tall and shine that light for others. You’ve already been given the tools for this job and the growth said of ROI is exponential.

You are one of the original wonders of the world and I have no doubt you will impact the lives of countless others in the most positive ways with small and simple acts of kindness. If you do decide to do something over the top and expensive, just don’t invest in a second Chinese moped for anyone. Here is a picture of it now, currently in need of new fuel lines and just sitting in my driveway, despite the easy fix. I’m not ready for that project yet. It’s been a year and a half and I’m finally at a positive bank balance. Thanks to that honorary employment law degree and a couple of radiant lighthouses. These beacons are humble enough to ask for a ride if needed.